Monday, April 6, 2009

Can't I get a break?

I hate the phrase God never gives you more than you can handle. I hate it when people use it as a way to try to support you. I would rather they said nothing. It's not that I want pity. I just want to vent about it or cry about it and get it over with.

Over the weekend I found out that my husband will be gone part of each month from now until the time he deploys. He deploys before the end of the year. GREAT! Was my initial thought. My next was, I just won't allow it. Right, like the Army will allow me to say "um sorry you can't have my husband until he deploys." I would probably get laughed at and then asked to seek counseling services.
Because he comes and goes SO much I have a hard time remembering when he'll be here and when he won't. The part that kicks me in the pants the most is the yard and the trash. He comes home long enough for me to get out of the habit of thinking about the trash. Then he leaves again and I have to start worrying about it again. I have been known to run to the curb in my robe with trash can in tow. I think the trash guys now feel sorry for me. If they see me coming they wait for me.

The thing is, it's not just the trash. I don't think I'll ever sleep normal again. I get used to him here then he's gone. I get that we signed up for this. We came to this unit voluntarily. We can leave if we choose to. When we first decided to go to this unit I thought THIS WILL BE A BREEZE! He'll only be gone for a few weeks/months at a time. But my happy brain didn't calculate that if he is only gone for a few weeks then he is only home for a few weeks. Silly me.

On the plus side, he will be home soon from the latest TDY trip. Which means I will get to have him here for a few days. I get to smell the coffee in the morning which always tells me he's home.

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